Friday, September 30, 2005

another year

So I was beginning to get sick of the jackfruit. I didn't really want to dig around in it anymore, as getting that sap out is not fun, and it was beginning to smell. So I took it downstairs, ready to throw it out.
As I was about to throw it out, an exceptionally cheery security guard on our campus who always has his typically angry son (probably 2-3 years old) with him saw me. He asked me in Thai where I got it, and then if I had a knife. I answered him, and he told me he would cut it and bring some of it back to me. About two hours later, I went downstairs, and there were two of the quarters of the jackfruit, cut up properly. (see photo.) He kept most of it for himself, which is just fine by me. I ate a bit more of it, and the next day had to run out of an exam I was proctoring with explosive diahrehhea. I don't know for sure that the jackfruit was the cause, but I have had enough of it, so I got rid of the rest. But I'm glad the whole thing wasn't wasted.

This past tuesday was my 28th birthday. Had a nice dinner at Fuji, a Japanese restaurant with some friends. Then last night we had the party at a place called x9. I should've brought a camera with me, as it is quite the spectacle. They have these ridiculous stage shows that were pretty funny, with beautiful people doing remakes of various Thai pop hits. One of my friends had coupons for seven free bottles of scotch that were expiring on Friday, so this was how we chose the spot. People from ten different countries and three of the six continents were there. And since proctoring is now finished (praise Jesus for that one,) we were all in a good mood. So it was a great time.

I used a steam room on the campus the other day. What a redundancy - having a steam room in Bangkok. It's like having a meat locker in Antarctica. You don't really notice the diference inside of and outside of the room.

Other than that, life is good. Correcting lots of tests next week, which won't be fun, but as soon as I finish them, I'm off to Krabi. Hail progress!

Monday, September 26, 2005

Songthaews, meaning "two benches," a common form of mass transit througout SE Asia. All they are are little Toyota pickups with wooden benches in the back. They work like a short-range bus service throughout BKK, and will shuttle you between cities that are relatively near each other in places like Cambodia, Burma, Lao PDR, et al. Posted by Picasa
Yep, that's pretty durned sleazy... Posted by Picasa
my fork after digging into said jackfruit Posted by Picasa
The Jackfruit cut open Posted by Picasa

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Be careful what you say, you just might get it...

The title of this posting could not possibly be more true as I sit here writing this today. It seems that I may be a recipient of one of the best gag gifts I’ve ever seen or even heard of. Here’s how it all started.
Last week in my classes, I wrote on the chalkboard that just like every other year, 27 September would be my birthday. After one of the classes finished, a group of four especially kind students asked me what I wanted for a gift. Completely jokingly, I said that I wanted a jackfruit (for those of you unfamiliar with jackfruit, it is a fruit unique to SE Asia (as far as I know) and is the world’s largest fruit. Some pumpkins do get larger, but jackfruit has no cavity in the middle like a pumpkin, and all mature jackfruits weigh probably at least 30 lbs.) They started laughing, and then I told them to just bring me some sort of fruit, and that I didn’t really want a jackfruit.
Anyhow, Friday was the last day of class for the semester. After I dismissed all of the students in my second class, one of them came to the front and led the class in a rendition of “Happy Birthday.” And then they handed me a jackfruit, which is pictured below. It turns out that this tiny girl who likely weighs only slightly more than the jackfruit made a special trip to Pattaya, a beach resort about 2 hrs. south of BKK which could very well be the sleaziest town on earth (it exploded as a resort during the Vietnam war, when it became a center for sex tourism for GIs on R&R. The end of the war just changed the clientele, not the sleaze factor,) just to get it, as jackfruits are difficult to find in this season. They also informed me that eating too much Jackfruit (also known as “candyfruit,) can make one ill, which is nice to know when you have 40 + lbs of it that you have to get through. Keep in mind this was just my second class, which meant that I had to carry around this 40-50 lbs. behemoth for the remainder of the day. They gave me a plastic bag for it, but naturally the handle ripped off after a while. When I brought it home, I carried it on my head, much like one sees women in Africa doing with large jars of water on the National Geographic channel.
I took the monstrous fruit home and tried to cut it open with the tiny paring knife that I have. It just so happens that the outer rind has a very stick, sap-like substance in it. Naturally, I had this stuff all over everything in a short while, and soap wasn’t getting it out. So I contacted Erika, my friend from Singapore, to find out how the heck I was supposed to work this thing. She said that the only way to get the stuff off was with either kerosene or cooking oil, the latter of which worked only sometimes. Since cooking oil is much easier to find than kerosene, I bought a bit, and it worked quite well. So that part is resolved.
I mentioned earlier that jackfruit can make one sick if one eats too much of it. Well, at about 4:30 Saturday morning, I woke up and vomited (and I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol the entire day, so it wasn’t that.) Of course, I’ve had a fever ever since then, so I do believe it is likely some sort of flu, but am having trouble digging into it again. I really didn’t eat that much of it, but perhaps it just set my stomach off. Who knows?
I know that these students were not trying to gag gift me at all, but it sure feels like a good one, and I have to give them credit, because they had me laughing for the whole rest of the day. Thankfully, jackfruit smells good, so if nothing else, it is a massive air freshener, so I appreciate that as well.

Other students gave me gifts as well. The sweetheart sisters from Burma gave me a teddy bear, and a couple of others gave me cards and the like. All in all, it was a great last day, and for the most part, I’m gonna miss these kids.

The Badgers beat the hated Michigan Wolverines, which is very good news. If only the Vikings could get their stuff together...

Go Badgers! And Hail Progress!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

The Author of this here Weblog with the jackfruit in question Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Dropping the Bomb

Yesterday was one of my more difficult days of teaching here at this University full of spoiled children. In my first class, despite having written on the board that I would be teaching about essay writing for the past week and a half, all of the little brats failed to bring their textbooks, completely derailing my lesson plan. But the real issue was in my third class of the day. I returned the quizzes to the kids that they took a week and a half ago. During the quiz of this particular class, I told two girls to stop talking numerous times, yet they wouldn't stop. So I explicitly told them that if I saw or heard them talking again, they would receive scores of zero. I saw them talking at least five more times, so I kept my word and gave them zeros. Being thirteen year old girls trapped in nineteen year old bodies, they naturally freaked out. They were saying they weren't cheating, they weren't talking, and begging, groveling, and cursing my name all at the same time. An ugly scene, to be sure. The other students in the class were looking at me as if I had just scalped these girls. Cheating, it seems, is the way things are done here, and if they're not carefully watched, the students will cheat and cheat and cheat some more. Even if they are carefully watched, it seems they don't even try to hide it, and when a proctor or teacher suggests they stop, they react as if one were asking them to stop breathing.

To further complicate issues, one of the girls to whom I gave the zero is my stalker (who still thinks I don't know who she is.) I figured this would either end the stalking all together or would take it to a whole new level. After returning home yesterday, the phone in my room rang three times, and there was just the sound of someone breathing on the other end. So I'm a bit nervous, especially since she knows where I live and all. If this continues, I may be forced to take further action.

In other news, it's beginning to look like it may be a long season for the Vikings. They lost to the once-lowly Cincinnati Bengals by a lopsided score of 37-8. The Vikings turned the ball over seven times. No Bueno. However, the Badgers squeaked by North Carolina, 14-5, so they're off to a 3-0 start. But Michigan comes to town this week, so that will be the real test. I really wish I could be in Madison for that one.

Other than that, it's exactly one week from my 28th birthday. In the Thai culture, one throws a party for one's own birthday, and the birthday boy or girl buys all the drinks for all their friends. Could be spendy.

Hail progress!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Late RL Burnside, from the website of Fat Possum Records, his label. Posted by Picasa

RL Burnside - gone, but not forgotten

One thing I forgot to mention in my last posting is that my favorite blues artist of all time, RL Burnside, passed away this past week at the age of 79. I was fortunate enough to see him play live twice during my time in Grand Forks. He had a tough life in the hillcountry of Mississippi, and didn't really gain much recognition until the 1990's, when he was over 70 years old. En pace resquisat.
Yesterday, the flooded soi in next to our campus. It rained all day long. A tropical depression moved through here, and caused much worse flooding in other parts of Thailand. Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

A note from a Stalkee

Not too much to report this week, except that a.) the Badgers are 2-0 following a 65-0 victory at home over the less than mighty Temple University Owls (a good matchup in basketball, but definitely not in football) and the shootout in the opener vs. Bowling Green State University, by a score of 56-42. The Vikings, however, have found offense a far more difficult task, rushing for only a total of 16 yards or so in their opening day loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, 24.13. Their only touchdown came on defense. It kind of smacks of the Vikings of the late 1980s/early 1990s. And the Twins playoff hopes are fading fast. And so it goes...
The student who I wrote about earlier, whom I overheard saying that she wanted to marry me but thought that she was too ugly, has taken to stalking me. I do not enjoy this at all. It seemed rather harmless at first, with her sending "anonomyous" emails, which I acknowledged but made clear I wasn't interested. However, she found where I live and decided to put these little packages with love notes and cans of condensed milk (I have no idea why...)outside my door. How she found out where I live, I can only guess, but it would be nice to at least have peace in my own home. Anyhow, I told her to leave me alone in an email. Hopefully this will bear fruit.
Only three more classes left before the final exam. This means I'm going to be correcting my brains out in the near future. Not fun, but Krabi will be nice. Haven't heard a thing on the modeling front. However, one guy I know, this 6'5", 300 lbs. + friend of mine from Nigeria who likes to be called "Biggie" does a bit of modeling and acting here, appearing in Thai rap videos, tv commercials and the like. Anyhow, they're filming some new Vietnam movie here (I forget the name) with Christian Bale (he played Batman and The Machinist.) Anyhow, they needed a black serviceman, and since there aren't many that look the part around here, Biggie got a call, and they even gave him a line. It would be really cool to do something like that...
Hail progress!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Up and Running

Happy September to you all. As you all can see, I was able to get out yesterday and take a few pictures in Bangkok's Chinatown. Chinatown here is mostly known as a shopping place - my colleage, Bryan McGuinness, and I were hoping to have some quality Chinese food, but the only restaurants we found were KFCs. But if you're looking for silk, DVDs, knives, sheet metal, or just about any other type of product, the BKK Chinatown is a great place to look.

This past weekend, I was feeling really groggy and wanted to sleep all of the time. Was worried that I had Mono, which really would not have been good. Then, on Sunday night, I only got one hour of sleep - the most welcomed bout of insomnia I've ever had, as it was a good sign that Mono it was not. Feeling perfectly fine now.

I've officially dropped 24 kilos since landing here in May. It seems to have stabilized a bit now, but I've moved a full three holes up on my belt. And on it goes...

One thing that is kind of funny is that it appears I may be doing some modeling in the near future. In all honesty, I thought I had a better chance of becoming the next pope (I'm Lutheran, and am not in the clergy) than ever becoming a model. But it seems that white people are in high demand here, so it's possible I could be appearing in some ads and TV commercials here. Likely nothing major, and nothing to quit my day job over, but a good way to make a few extra Baht for sure...

Other than that, God help the people of Southern Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. It's somewhat reminicent of the tsunami that hit here this past December. Next month, I'll have a few weeks off and will be heading to Krabi, one of the provinces of Southern Thailand on the Andaman Coast that was hit by the killer waves. I went there two years ago, so it will be interesting to see what has changed since then. Also, it's a beautiful area, with high limestone cliffs and crystal clear waters. I've been told that the water is even clearer and more beautiful since the tsunami, so it will probably be pretty cool. And tourism is down heavily there, so it won't be too crowded. Should be nice...

The college football season begins Saturday. The Badgers open up with Bowling Green at home. A tough early season test. Man, I'm gonna miss college football, that's for sure...

Hail progress! And go Badgers!
All hail the Queen! As you can tell, this is an older picture of Her Majesty The Queen Sirikit.Posted by Picasa
A view of a typical Bangkok street.  Posted by Picasa
busy, crazy, and chaotic shopping street in the Bangkok Chinatown Posted by Picasa
some guy cooking stuff on the street in BKK Chinatown... Posted by Picasa

Sunday, August 21, 2005

They say the darndest things...

It appears my worst fears have come true, as my hard drive is now useful only as a paperweight. Gone with it are all of my music, academic (most of which, thankfully, I backed up,) and photo files. A couple of the photos lost I had intended to post on this blog, but they'll have to wait, I guess. It has been replaced with one that has about half of the memory, which is unfortunate. However, I'm pleased that I at least have a computer to use, which means that not all is lost, and I can still use my digital camera. So that is some consolation.
There was terrible flooding last week up in Chiang Mai and other points in Thailand's Northern regions. Hopefully the remainder of the rainy season will be kinder to this area (and to us here in BKK.)
Now for the title of this posting. As many of you know, I studied Thai for five semesters at the University of Wisconsin, and while I'm not even close to fluent, I am functional and can understand a fair bit of what people are talking about. Most of my students aren't aware of this fact, or at least they weren't until rather recently. Because of this, I've heard my students saying some funny things that they most certainly did not want nor expect me to understand. For example, one of my students proclaimed that she wants to marry me, but doesn't think that she can because she's too ugly. Another girl, after a grammer lesson, thought that the class wasn't terribly entertaining, and announced that the class was boring. So I turned to her and told her in Thai that I would think the class would be even more boring if she had to repeat it two or three times. The look on her face was precious...
And in English, these Thai kids say things that never cease to amaze me. It seems that Thais are rather blunt when assessing each other, and regularly make jokes about their friends' appearances. For example, there is one girl who is looking to go on a program that will allow her to work in the US for a summer, and was asking me for advice about where she should go. The jobs are mostly food service and housekeeping. Some of the positions were working at McDonalds in New Jersey. I told her to steer clear of that one, as working at a McD's on the Jersey turnpike would not be my idea of a good way to see America. There were also posts at various theme parks, such as six flags, and at Harrah's casinos. However, the most attractive ones, at least in my eyes, were to work at either Yellowstone National Park or The Grand Canyon. I told her that she should go to Yellowstone, because she could see bears there. Her friends said, "are there elephants?" and all started laughing. As I was looking confused, they explained the joke. They call their friend "elephant," as she's supposedly fat (and believe me, she isn't by any stretch of the imagination.) The girl who was the target of the joke was laughing away, too. I just stood there with a shocked look upon my face.
Hail progress!

Friday, August 12, 2005

Crash

Apologies for the long time between postings, but my computer is in the shop now. It's been having some troubles, and I fear the worst, so it may be a while before I can post any pictures...

One of my favorite activities here in Bangkok has been going to movies. I don't know why I love going to movies so much here. Perhaps it's because a ticket only costs 100 Baht ($2.50,) or the anthem to the king where they make him appear as a semi-divine being (i.e. - they seem to imply that he's responsible for bringing the rain, as this short film shows a farmer standing in his parched field as a downpour begins,) or perhaps it's the sweetened popcorn they sell at the concession stand. I'm not sure what it is, but I love going, and in my 10 weeks or so that I've been here, I've already seems something like seven movies, including some really bad ones that I wouldn't dream of seeing back in the US, such as The Longest Yard, The War of the Worlds, and The Island. However, I've seen some pretty good ones, too, such as Crash and The Machinist. Yesterday, the Thai movie called Tom Yam Goong opened, and I was there. (Tom Yam Goong, by the way, is a very spicy Thai soup with shrimp that has become one of my favorite foods here - I eat at least four bowls every week.) This is a sort of martial arts movie staring Tony Ja, the star of Ong-Bak, who is Thailand's Jackie Chan. Some pretty impressive fighting sequences, but the plot was rather ridiculous.

No classes today, as it is the birthday of Her Majesty The Queen Sikrit here in the land formerly known as Siam. The Thai people use this day to express their appreciation to their mothers. So, I'll do the same. Love ya, Momma!

Other than that, just correcting papers and trying to stay ahead. Hail progress!

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Back in the Big Mango

When I was living in Tokyo, the thing I always hated about vacation was that it ended, and the prospects of going from laid-back SE Asia back to the hyper-paced concrete jungle of Tokyo was rather depressing. Which could be the best thing about working in Bangkok - when your vacation is over, you get to come back to Bangkok. It's almost like there's no end to the vacation, in a way...

Hua Hin has a rather nice beach, and it was nice to chill there for a couple of days, drink the juice out of coconuts and eat super-fresh seafood. Unfortunately, one could rent jet skis, sailboats, banana boats, horses, and just about every other kind of transport on this beach, but kayaks were not to be found. So it goes. I may have to head down to Krabi the next time I have a few days off (which will be in less than two weeks) just to get my fix...

One other thing I forgot to mention about my trip to Sangklaburi was that on the bus, there were only six people, including the driver and conductor. There were more on the way back, but the interesting thing was that Thai Immigration and military authorities boarded the bus twice and checked everyone's documents (except for mine.) Looking for undocumented migrants, it appears. It's like seeing my thesis in action. Interesting...

One of my co-workers was so drunk a week or so ago that he passed out in front of 7-11 and used a stray dog as a pillow. Thankfully, I was not on that expedition.

Hail progress!